WINGS OF TIME

“SUN!” “YELLOW”! “BIG”! See Mamma, see I can read! And sure enough, she was reading!

My younger one was reading sight words from the reading card that she had got from school today.

I couldn’t believe my eyes, ears and a whole lot of other organs like my heart: that gave a big flip!

Wasn’t it just yesterday that the doctor told me, “Meeta, it’s a girl!” The happiest day of my life when this little one’s gender was revealed! The entire pregnancy I prayed for her to be a girl…terrified about what I would do if I had another boy! 2 boys- Hitting, fighting, tearing each other’s clothes- I’d banish the thought as it arose in my head.

Then she arrived.. My bundle of curls, dimples, frilly frocks and Barbies! Was I sleeping and had just been woken up? Did she grow up within that time? I pinched myself hard. Ouch!! Very much awake. It seems like these 4 years have passed by in a wink!

As I was just recovering from this with a nice lunch, along came my first born. What does he wave in front of my nose? - An essay of 10 lines written in beautiful childish handwriting on “My mother”

“Ma, see I got a star today” I read it, incredulously… “You wrote all this?” Of course, Ma! Isn’t it nice?”

When did these kids grow up? It seems like some days back that he came back with reading cards and we read “SUN, YELLOW, BIG” together! Suddenly, he learnt to write??? I closed my eyes and smiled a happy disbelieving smile… I now understood the oft repeated phrase “TIME FLIES”.

Time flies, said my mom, Time flies said them all! It does, I guess.  

I think each and every one of us have said this phrase often. It’s mid-December already and guess what! Another year has flown by….

New Year’s Eve will bring a new hope... like all will be better as soon as the clock strikes 12... “Happy New Year”! “Happy New Year”! We hug and greet “all and sundry”.

One week into January and nothing feels new anymore... Does it? Every day passes off into the realms of time and is gone... Days move into weekends and no matter how much you plan and look forward to the coming party on Saturday night. The Dress, The Shoes, The makeup, all planned to the T. But all gone so soon- Time for the music to stop and yes we must say goodbye! We did have a blast though! All of what remains are the sounds in my mind, images, faces, pictures that I can remember- till time fades them from my memory.

“Time is the healer”- “Time will Heal”, but to me- Time is the pain. It takes from me all that I want to keep. It will not let me be!!- If I have time to while away: I’m depressed... If I’m busy and pressed for time- I’m stressed. “Time management”, “Time for myself”, “Quality Time” for my kids and my partner. TIME, TIME, TIME!!!

I hate you “Time”. You control everything, you are the only thing constant while all of us are not. Everything perishes. The Good, the Bad and the Ugly- all change and disappear! Only Time moves on and on. My agony and jealousy you cannot even gauge. You have fascinated Men for centuries! The all-pervasive, ABSOLUTELY SILENT- TIME.

One wish if I could have – I’d LIKE TO POSESS these Wings of Time. To be able to soar above all else… view everything from afar... Be the controller and the destroyer...   but... This wish cannot be. Or who knows? If we can conquer Time in the future. It could be possible! I’m sure!!!

“Mamma, I’m home…..” An hour just “flew” by as I was typing this. Time to go!