The Battle Of The BULGE

One afternoon as I sat concentrating hard before the computer screen, my hand unconsciously reached out for the cookie jar… Whoops! It was snatched away with a loud shout-“NO!!! No, Mamma! STOP IT.

Taken aback, I look up to see my 5 year old waving a finger in my face. “You can’t eat any sugar ma, remember?” She then goes on to roll her little hands on her tummy in an obscene gesture and say “You’ll become fatter!”

Holy Christ! Livid with anger, I’m about to shout at the poor kid when I recall she’s only doing what she’s been asked to. With an exasperated sigh, I get up and give her a tight hug. She is my “Guardian against Monsters”. She safeguards me against the dangerous ‘Sweet Tooth Monster’ and the ferocious ‘Fried Cravings Monster.’

The Sweet Tooth Monster is buried deep until he awakens every year during the festive season. Starting with Krishna Jayanti, Rakhi, Ganesh Chaturthi and finally the mother of all festivals- Diwali! Our unwanted guest is on an extended stay!

Each box of cake or candy that comes home is swiftly passed on to someone else- a friend/a relative or a well-wisher. No matter how quickly I move, it’s impossible to deplete the pile. Some are gifts from people close to our hearts. Some are just too delicious to give away! SO, the monster lives on.

The fact that I have so many fabulous home bakers on my friends list doesn’t help my cause at all. Endless promotional posts on the social media … with tempting pictures of the most amazing cakes and desserts - anyone would succumb. I do too!

The Fried Cravings Monster, however is always around. If the lunch is a simple dal rice- out come the fried crispies! Come rains and this monster is at his ferocious best. Pakoras, Samosas and irresistible Bread rolls are gobbled; completely ignoring the diet plan.  Blame it on the weather.  The Monster looking on laughs- loud and cruel.

 “I’ll eat just today. Tomorrow I’ll stop eating fried and sugar completely. I Promise.”

Promises, as we know- are meant to be broken.

“I’ll work out the extra calories”. A week of intense workout and somebody compliments me that I’m looking great. How do I celebrate? With a chocolate, of course!

I put my Guardian into action. “Don’t let me eat any chocolate, cookies or mithai” OK? Please take it away as soon as I reach for it. Stop me if I put pizza or potato chips into my mouth darling”. My little soldier takes her job seriously. Out at a party, as soon as I begin to put the slice of pizza or cake into my mouth I feel a tug on my dress. I look back at her standing with a wicked grin and a menacing finger pointing to the food- NO, No, no!!

My Guardian and I, together we fight the monsters. We battle them hard and send them packing! Until they return….. No matter how much I try I cannot win. The never-ending Battle of the Bulge continues.

 

It’s a Jungle Out There

It’s the third week of November 2020. I’m packing our bags for a weekend getaway.

“Ma, where are we going? Are we taking a Holiday? Where? When? With Whom?” Rapid fire questions and I just nod in the affirmative.

YIPPEE!!! The squeals are deafening!

This has been the year of THE PANDEMIC. Apart from the bimonthly visits to the grocery store we have not stepped out of our homes. A complete six months have passed and we are bored to our bones. So, after meticulous planning and speculation and more planning- the plan is ON!

Thanks to the Corona Virus we’re actually headed to a destination that would have never been possible with my set of family- A Jungle Retreat!! You see, we are the ‘laze by the beach’ or ‘shop at the mall’ kind of family.

Open Air, Drive into the lush green forests where the virus would not be so prevalent seems to be our line of thought. Whatever it is- I couldn’t be more pleased! A trip to the Ranthambore National Park, Rajasthan has been on my bucket list since I was 10. It’s my fascination with the Indian Bengal Tiger and a desire to see the beauty in its own territory that spins this dream.

Ranthambore not yet, It’s the Nagarhole Tiger Reserve, Kabini that we are headed to. At the luxurious resort we make a booking for the afternoon “JUNGLE SAFARI”.

“I hope we come back alive” jokes Mister. He’s trying to keep it light to hide his excitement. Anyways, as we start off we all say a fervent prayer – My only prayer is to spot a Tiger. Please God, please, please, PLEASE!! “

“There are around 120 tigers in the Park” tells our Safari Guide. That’s a BIG number!!! My heart soars!! “Sssshhh- you must be very quiet if you want to not disturb the wildlife”-he warns. With the number of kids in our mini bus his stern tone is quite deserved. All the parents glare at their respective offspring with menacing “fingers on your lips”. The silence is eerie...

It’s a lucky start as we spot a wild Indian Elephant with long trunks. He is splendid!

My daughter who wished to see an elephant is ecstatic- Humph!! If only the wretch had asked to see a tiger-we could have used her luck. That's 'Incredibly Mean' me.

Moving ahead we capture on our phone cameras some Spotted Deer, a herd of Wild Bison, an Iguana, the beautiful Samba Deer and lots of black faced Langurs. There is no dearth of eagles and the endangered horn bills! A striking kingfisher and a beautiful white crane languish by the lake. We wait for a while as this where a tiger was seen in the morning safari. No luck! Maybe it’s not thirsty right now (:

Peacocks and Mongoose also appear as we drive back and forth -deeper and deeper into the forest looking out for the Wild Cat.

Ahead deer are running- IS IT A WILD CALL? A tiger's on the prowl? Our bodies stiffen...

No sight of anything but more deer. I’m close to tears.

It’s getting dark – the forest looks fantastic. I look at the gorge down and imagine a tigress with her cubs hiding behind. The dream seems so close but yet so far!

A frantic call on the guide’s walkie talkie informs that a tiger has come to drink water at the lake that we left behind a while ago. “Let’s go back” we insist.

“It’s too late ma’am.  We must be heading back. “

Back at the resort we are crestfallen. Let’s go for the safari in the morning. We must try again.

It’s a breathtaking sunrise! The sights are the same- just a family of elephants is the highlight of our trip. Another tiger less safari. I’m seething with rage! We’ve been cheated! All these safaris are a waste of time. There are no tigers- they are just conning us. It’s an endless barrage of complaints.

As the holiday comes to an end we meet other fellow travelers most of whom have been on at least 4 safaris. Try, try, try again seems to be the mantra for success. The elusive cat shows itself only to the Lucky Ones or to the true believers. The smooth slow walk of the striped beast is worth the wait. Catch the The Eye of the Tiger -Mesmerizing to say the least.

On the picturesque drive back home I realize how the jungle safari was so much like the journey called LIFE. We pass such beautiful sights on our way but wear blinkers on our eyes. Each person chases his own dream of success. Endlessly looking for that wild elusive cat- “happiness” while tiny pleasures pass by unnoticed. To have so much fauna around and yet say we didn’t see anything. It’s what most of us do. Chasing the elusive we lose value for the definite and confronting. The little joys lose meaning when compared to that one big sighting of “success”. Also, in life too success comes to those who persevere- the mantra of hard work and luck never fails.

The Jungle out there taught me a lesson I won't forget- To be content with what I have. The cool breeze on my face, the sights and sounds around that I take for granted. 'Right Here'-must be valued for what it is. Am I a changed person you ask?

NO WAY! A promise to go back in the summer. We shall not rest till we hear the 

Tiger ROAR!!

 

 

ABC- 2020…

 

We all learned A for Apple, B for Ball in school. The year 2020 has changed our lives so much and also our learning.

Here’s the new ABC of 2020 which we all must learn this year. The list below consists of new words that have become part of our vocabulary and conversation. So here goes- cheers to 2020!

 

A – Asymptomatic

B- Body Temperature

C- Corona

D- Distancing

E- Epidemic

F- Fomite

G- Ginger

H- Hand wash

I- Immunity

J- Just Stay Home

K- Kaadha

L- Lockdown

M- Masks

N- New Normal

O- Online classes

P- Pandemic

Q- Quarantine

R- Respiratory

S- Sanitiser

T- Transmission

U- Unlock

V- Virus

W- Work from Home

X- Xtreme Care

Y- YouTube Uploads

Z- Zoom

 

LADIES, FIRST

“Mamma, what came first: The Chicken or the Egg?”

Oh boy! The question that’s baffled the world is now hurled on me. “I don’t know son…ask Google”

“Mamma, I know!” See….first you came and then I was born – a baby and now I’m a little girl.

Perplexed, both Mother and Son look at her incredulously.

She goes on to explain- “You’re the Hen- I’m the Egg that is the baby and then it becomes a Chicken that’s the little girl!

SOOO, the Hen came first then the egg and from it came the chicken. Easy peesy lemon squeezy!!”

Wonder how, but the little grandmother’s logic sounds true. The Mother came first and then followed Life. What about the father? -Of course he was there but that’s never been part of the question has it?

So why have Women for centuries been made to believe that they are the “Weaker Sex”, “the fairer sex”? That Adam had to leave the Garden of Eden because of Eve? Patriarchy as we have lived with for centuries is based on Fear. Men know the fore entry of the woman, which makes her irreplaceable but if she finds out what would happen to them? So they dominate over Women on the pretext of physical strength. Make the woman feel inferior. So ingrained is this dominance in our psyche for centuries that women themselves believe it. “What can I do? I’m just a helpless woman.”

Helpless no more- Times have changed. Women are leading in all fields except their own. At each point in her life the woman has been taught to put the interests of men- her father, her brother and husband before her own interests. She must finish her household duties and then step out to fulfill her dreams and pursue her career. She must be there for her kids and make time for them before she can go watch a movie with her own friends. The woman has to mandatorily lay the table and serve lunch to her in-laws and husband first before she steps out for the kitty party. All of this she does as part of her duties. While doing this and more the duty to herself- her physical and emotional well-being is forgotten.

Put yourselves first, girls! In any and every situation. You can’t pour from an empty cup. Take care of yourselves first. Try it and see how well you take care of others then. The happiest and most successful of men are the ones who put their women first. Mine included :)

Only if the mother is fed can she feed her children well. If the wife or daughter in law is happy and contented can the others enjoy harmony within the family. The women staff at any organization give more than their 100 percent if the work environment is healthy, satisfying and enriching.

Live for yourselves and then for all those who care for you and need you. The policy of laissez-faire that Adam Smith, the Father of Economics proposed years ago works well with women too. When you let women be and live the way they want to, they will raise better human beings, create better work and home environments which helps society and civilizations to thrive.

Believe “That you’re worth it” and the rest of the world will too!! Come, take a joyride on the carriage that says “Ladies, First”. 

TALES Of A TRIBE and their Tamasha

 

“Mamma, she called me- STUPID and a BAD GIRL!”

Oh no! Not again!! “Please don’t go down to play with her” I say.

A simple dialogue from me is met with a HUGE uproar by my kids….almost seems like it’s the beginning of an earthquake.

MAN is a social animal and likewise little men and women too. Our kids cannot live without meeting their apartment friends and their daily dose of quarreling and making up is mandatory.

We live in a big community or a Tribe as I call it- 4 blocks of about 150 apartments with 100 families all living harmoniously- or maybe not completely in harmony… but pretty much happily coexisting OR…. Well, you get the picture right? So let’s begin…

Why a TRIBE?-   I call it so because like in a tribe, here too we have a Headman, a Chieftain, The Head Priestess, The Sorcerer, The Warriors, The Spies, The Traders etc. All take their self-assigned roles seriously and perform tasks so all the community members benefit. HA HA!!

 

Each morning, my day begins with the alarm of the “Chirping Birds”. No, this is not a ringtone on my smartphone - but it is the sound of pleasant chatter of a group of Ladies who walk and talk around the 4 blocks. They have excellent stamina and complete a one hour routine daily.

As I step down, ambling along to pick up the milk from the gate- I’m greeted by the “Girl Gang”. This is the young bunch of pretty fitness enthusiasts who jog or cycle all around the blocks. They perform Surya Namaskar and Vajra asana in the park and also do a self-choreographed Zumba routine! Their smiling exuberant faces could brighten up even your dullest mornings.

On the way to the main compound entrance I exchange pleasantries with other passersby- some in their lazy stupor like me: some heading to work and others who are just taking in the sun. We all observe one other and judge the way each person walks, looks and behaves. Mr. V looks incredibly forlorn – did he have another fight with his wife last night? Iyer Uncle and his dog have an extra spring in their step… whatever could be the matter?? Wondering, I carry on.

 

A bright and bustling bazaar awaits me at the Entrance. A motley group of residents are gathered around the Vegetable Vendor Van and the “Keerai Lady”.

Whatsapp messages are updated on the community group informing everyone about their arrival.

The bright ladies and a few gentlemen queue to buy their stock of healthy greens and fresh vegetables and meanwhile also exchange recipes. We all knows what’s cooking in whose kitchen for lunch that day. A perfect start to your day with a dollop of greens and gossip!

 

In the sunny afternoons you won’t see much common activity except for the Housekeeping Staff who would be cleaning the staircases, lifts and common area. Now THEY are the real backbone of the Tribe. These very important ladies also know what is conspiring in each house mind you! Who is seeing whom, who is quarreling with whom etc., they are aware of ALL which the rest of us are not.

Their leader is the “Handyman” of the Tribe. He is your go to man for anything and everything under the Apartment Sun. He is available 24*7 but mind you, don’t ever rub him the wrong way!

 

The Evening brings everyone out of their homes. Children run down to play in the park or the clubhouse. Cycling enthusiasts speed around the compound. The beautiful breeze gets young and old all into a carefree fun mood. All the different groups or clans appear. The paatis sit and exchange their daily woes on the park bench. The extremely fit uncles walk in duos never missing their evening walks together. The ladies walking groups are set and airtight. You cannot break into any group or merge into another by unwritten law.

Young mothers who bring their toddlers down for their playtime are happy as they chat with other mums. Each of them struggling with their “just kids and home” routine.

Everyone loves the little friendly kid who is the youngest member of the tribe and a real Darling. The day she hurt her head while playing near the swing everyone was upset. Anxious families visited the little girl bringing her sweets and good wishes. Everyone prayed for her speedy recovery.

Any mishap or illness in any particular house brings the Tribe together. All try and help the affected family in their own possible ways. We even have common prayer meets organized to generate positivity.

 

WHAT’S THAT? A loud noise coming from the direction of the Clubhouse. 

The commotion is regarding a glass table that has been smashed to pieces. The question is by whom?

Some kids were seen playing there a while ago. Their names are called out. The kids obviously deny it. Their parents are summoned. They are defensive and the blame game starts! The quarrel moves in a tangent with respective forefathers and lineage called in.

“You don’t know the family I come from!” shouts an enraged man.

“You don’t know how many factories I have... I could buy the likes of you within minutes!!!”

They could have gone to blows had some non-participating others not intervened. Phew!!!

The matter goes on for a week with full tamasha. The CCTV footage reveals nothing as the camera was not working. “Thank God “I say.

It’s really “Thank God” as the upcoming Ganesh Chaturthi festival helps to restore peace and calm back in the Tribe.

The common Ganesh Temple situated beneath the Peepal tree is beautifully decorated. All the men, women and children step down in their finest to seek the Elephant Lord’s blessings. The sweet prasadam distributed brings cheer and smiles on everyone’s faces. Beautiful Bhajans are sung by children dressed like princesses. Everyone joins in to chant Jai Ganesha!

God bless the Tribe! May their tales and tamasha continue unabated.

 

TO THE MOON and BACK

 

“It’s the Moon Puja right, Ma?”! “Yes, it is…It’s Teejri”

“THE MOON FESTIVAL - LET”S CELEBRATE!!!” NORTH, NORTH WEST, EAST, SOUTH EAST- WE’LL TAKE OUR COMAPSS TO THE TERRACE AND CHECK WHERE THE MOON IS COMING OUT FROM!!”

Oh! What excitement in their innocent minds. The only thing that my kids remember of this very authentic Sindhi festival is how the entire family eagerly awaits the appearance of the moon in the cloudy monsoon sky. It is indeed the highlight of Teejri which is a poor cousin of the more popular Karva Chauth.

 

Every year around the beginning of August in the Hindu month of Saavan comes the festival of Teejri. Married women fast through the day and pray for the health and prosperity of their husbands. It is a strict fast wherein merely liquids like tea, coffee, rose milk are allowed. Only after offering prayers to the moon at night can the ladies eat a meal.

Do you think that just by fasting annually we can ensure long and healthy lives of our husbands? Hardly so, but there is power in prayer and I’d say one special day in our busy year to pray for our men is alright!

 "It’s only demanded of women to pray and fast? Why don’t husbands skip meals and stay hungry for their wives?” I’d always ask… The answer I now know-

 They CAN’T that’s why. A few years ago Mister did try only to give up by LUNCHTIME- retiring with a “splitting headache”!!

 

Personally, I celebrate Teejri to enjoy the ceremony of “Asur”. Asur is a meal that fasting women consume between 4 a.m. to 5a.m. on the day of Teej. As I sit with my chai and koki, I see my Mum sitting beside me. She was there on my first Teej fast after our wedding. She lovingly looked on as I devoured the delicious meal she’d cooked. The importance of eating something filling at this early hour on fasting day was grilled in by her.

My next reason is mehendi. Each year we get together with friends and call a professional to apply henna on our hands. This is a tradition and is said to be auspicious. This year we had “AATMANIRBHAR” mehendi due to the corona pandemic. We all applied the mehendi for ourselves in our homes. Each girl shared the picture of her beautifully decorated hand on WhatsApp. What better way to bond. This bonding and shared celebration is also a reason why we fast on Teejri!!

 

The last and probably the strongest reason is to challenge myself. “You please don’t fast, you’ll spoil your health”- says Mister.

“I CAN do it, don’t worry”. I doubt my words but say them very confidently!

IT’S 12 p.m. – the kids’ torturous online classes are done. No headache still! Fingers crossed we move to Lunchtime. I lay the lunch on the table and the smell of delicious food is tempting, but I overcome it. Evening comes and I’ve survived. After the Katha you can’t sip a drop of water till you spot the moon. We feed the kids their dinner and head to the park downstairs.

It’ pouring! “Rush inside, we’ll all get drenched.”

An hour goes by. The rain is incessant and obviously there is no sight of the moon.

“Moon please come fast so my Mom can eat”- with folded hands and eyes closed tight the little girl prays fervently.

“It’s the rain” says the first brat. “It must stop for the moon to be visible”

“Please God make the rain stop so the Moon can appear fast and Mamma can eat”

Hands clasped tight they both send an earnest prayer in chorus. NO LUCK.

It continues to pour. We head up home to tuck them in.

It’s past their bedtime.  “Mamma, will you sleep hungry?” asks the little one.

 

I don’t reply –I’m feeling faint…

The phone rings just then- “Meeta, It’s coming out!!”

A dash to the terrace this time.

 

Lo and behold there it appears- the beautiful moon!

WE stare at it in wonderous worship and pray- As our eyes meet, I ponder if this is where the phrase comes from? –“I Love You to the MOON and Back!”

VIRTUAL REALITY

This is my Corner, No entry- It is My Space

“Not anymore, Ma” they laugh in My Face!

My laptop/ my baby on which I design and write…

 “I won’t share with you both!” I hopelessly fight.

 

The Class begins at sharp Nine!

“Wake Up” we scream, you need to be “Online”

The teacher sends a link, we join on ZOOM!

Oh My God, I realize! They can see my Room…..

Scrambling to clear up the mess- toys, clothes,

Within seconds- “kapoot” the video goes!

 

Log in, log out, repeatedly we try

Completely bewildered my son and I.

The phone rings- others as perplexed, “Thank God!”

Technicalities solved, school prayer begins-“Praise the Lord!”

“Mute/Unmute”, unmute and again mute – Is this a Game?

“Shhhh, Ma- I must speak only when ma’am calls my Name”.

 

The story gets better as the younger one takes her seat

She feels like a queen, she’s got her hands on my Tablet.

“Don’t drop it”, “Be careful”, “It’s not a TOY”!

Wipe the sweat on my forehead -feel I’ve run a mile- “Oh Boy”!

 

Assignments posted on Google Classroom- What’s THAT?

Figuring out this takes a while- when it’s done I pat my back.

“Bye Bye” says the Teacher- they are done for the Day!

See you all tomorrow -Virtual Reality it’s here to stay!!

 

THE GIRL FROM THE NORTH

 

“Mamma, are we Hindi?” Stumped!!!

Before I could even fathom how to reply pat goes the first brat “Yes we are Hindi, right Mom?”

Why do you two always ask such difficult questions, I moan!! “It’s so easy mom” We are not Tamil right, so we are Hindi! Everyone in school calls me that.”

That’s another stunner! I didn’t know these kids faced this discrimination at such young ages. Miss Naïve right? How could they not be a part of this great divide? It’s all around us.

“Hindi is a language that we speak”, I say.  You both hardly speak any Hindi too. How can you be a language?”

“So, WHAT are we then?” they ask in unison. I think I need a paracetemol here!!

Cut to a dozen or more years back when I moved to Chennai, South India.

“You’re North Indian, right?”

“I’m from Mumbai”

“North Indian, da” a colleague would say introducing me.

Again I’d clarify- “I’m from Mumbai”. I could be talking to bare walls and it would have pretty much the same impact- Zilch!

On the west coast of India and almost half way up is Mumbai, the gateway to both North and South India. The co- ordinates are 19.0760° N, 72.8777° E. That is the geographical location but to anyone from Tamil Nadu- Any person who doesn’t belong to the 4 Southern states of Tamil Nadu, Kerala, Karnataka and Andhra Pradesh; include Telangana now is, ‘A NORTH INDIAN.’

A few days back a lady in my apartment block asked me- “Hey did I introduce you to that friend of mine-She is from your place… just like you.”

“Yes you did.  She’s from Surat, Gujarat.”

“Yeah! Just like you North Indian.”

So here goes- “I am a North Indian”. When you can’t beat them… join them.

 

A funny thing I noticed which I never did before was when I went back home after my marriage. The same distinction existed everywhere. Anyone who belongs to the 4 or 5 Southern states mentioned above was called a “MADRASI “.

You’ve become a madrasi! My cousins would tease me when I professed my love for idlis and Nei Dosa.

The kids are teased each time we travel to Mumbai! Their attempts to converse with the other apartment kids in their anglicised and accented hindi makes them “Madrasis”!  Hindi here, Madrasi there…. They ought to be confused!!

 

“We are Sindhis” – I begin to explain but give up as the origin of Sindh being in Pakistan brings out a contemptuous- “I’m not Pakistani!!” “Never”! That’s sorted… or still unsorted!!

Born in Bengal, brought up in Mumbai and married into the South. I am like my country- diverse and unique. The Victoria Memorial, Gateway of India and Marina Beach are all special with beautiful memories. There are so many like me. I meet them every day. They’ve grown to love their sambhar rice with ghee and podi as much as they love curry chawal and aloo parantha. We blend so well and yet stand apart…

I only wince a bit when I’m called something that I am not-The Girl from the North.

 

A Mother's Love

                                                           

     MOTHER’S LOVE

A Love so Profound

Mere words cannot say,

A big THANK YOU!

I say on this Mother’s Day.

Been a while since

You left us Mom,

Can still feel your presence

Every night, every morn…                                         

In my darkest hours

You hold the light.

Your smile, your face

That loving embrace…

Would give anything

To again hug you tight!                                 

One more time, just one

I wish you’d say my name!

HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY Ma,

FOREVER in my heart you remain.

 

“LOVE”- The most overused of all words and emotions. I however, learnt to love from my Mother. My mother wanted a boy and when I was born it seems she wept uncontrollably to the extent that her aunt offered to take me away.  “NEVER, she’s mine” shouted my mom and snatched me back into her arms…That love and possessiveness was in every thought, action and gesture towards me then on. From you Mom I learnt to Love- Possessive and Intense LOVE.

Hate- the other powerful emotion that determines our life choices. “I hate lies and Liars” mom would say while professing truth and honesty. From you mom I learnt to hate- the negative and the Deceitful.

 Hard work, Perseverance and Kindness- all I learnt from you Ma. She wouldn’t give up, though others around her had quit.

My marriage alliance fixed by her I strongly opposed-“I won’t move to the South”! Soon I thanked her. A more loving, kind and supporting partner I could have never found. The love of my life- My Mom gave to me.

My own journey to motherhood was difficult- Unsuccessful infertility treatments at Mumbai, Pune and Chennai- all of which my mother never accompanied me to. “Leave it,” she said. “Have faith. It moves mountains”. Only when I followed her advice and gave up on everything but faith- My “miracle boy" happened.  Undying Faith- in myself and The Almighty. You gave me Mom.

Everything I am today or hope to be- I owe it to my Mom, my Angel.  Selfless, unconditional and overflowing that is a mother’s love.

As I raise my two darlings each day I realize how much my mum sacrificed for us and how much she cared. Only when we become mothers ourselves do we truly value our moms. To my strength, inspiration and my life giver… Thank you Mom always!