The Battle Of The BULGE

One afternoon as I sat concentrating hard before the computer screen, my hand unconsciously reached out for the cookie jar… Whoops! It was snatched away with a loud shout-“NO!!! No, Mamma! STOP IT.

Taken aback, I look up to see my 5 year old waving a finger in my face. “You can’t eat any sugar ma, remember?” She then goes on to roll her little hands on her tummy in an obscene gesture and say “You’ll become fatter!”

Holy Christ! Livid with anger, I’m about to shout at the poor kid when I recall she’s only doing what she’s been asked to. With an exasperated sigh, I get up and give her a tight hug. She is my “Guardian against Monsters”. She safeguards me against the dangerous ‘Sweet Tooth Monster’ and the ferocious ‘Fried Cravings Monster.’

The Sweet Tooth Monster is buried deep until he awakens every year during the festive season. Starting with Krishna Jayanti, Rakhi, Ganesh Chaturthi and finally the mother of all festivals- Diwali! Our unwanted guest is on an extended stay!

Each box of cake or candy that comes home is swiftly passed on to someone else- a friend/a relative or a well-wisher. No matter how quickly I move, it’s impossible to deplete the pile. Some are gifts from people close to our hearts. Some are just too delicious to give away! SO, the monster lives on.

The fact that I have so many fabulous home bakers on my friends list doesn’t help my cause at all. Endless promotional posts on the social media … with tempting pictures of the most amazing cakes and desserts - anyone would succumb. I do too!

The Fried Cravings Monster, however is always around. If the lunch is a simple dal rice- out come the fried crispies! Come rains and this monster is at his ferocious best. Pakoras, Samosas and irresistible Bread rolls are gobbled; completely ignoring the diet plan.  Blame it on the weather.  The Monster looking on laughs- loud and cruel.

 “I’ll eat just today. Tomorrow I’ll stop eating fried and sugar completely. I Promise.”

Promises, as we know- are meant to be broken.

“I’ll work out the extra calories”. A week of intense workout and somebody compliments me that I’m looking great. How do I celebrate? With a chocolate, of course!

I put my Guardian into action. “Don’t let me eat any chocolate, cookies or mithai” OK? Please take it away as soon as I reach for it. Stop me if I put pizza or potato chips into my mouth darling”. My little soldier takes her job seriously. Out at a party, as soon as I begin to put the slice of pizza or cake into my mouth I feel a tug on my dress. I look back at her standing with a wicked grin and a menacing finger pointing to the food- NO, No, no!!

My Guardian and I, together we fight the monsters. We battle them hard and send them packing! Until they return….. No matter how much I try I cannot win. The never-ending Battle of the Bulge continues.

 

It’s a Jungle Out There

It’s the third week of November 2020. I’m packing our bags for a weekend getaway.

“Ma, where are we going? Are we taking a Holiday? Where? When? With Whom?” Rapid fire questions and I just nod in the affirmative.

YIPPEE!!! The squeals are deafening!

This has been the year of THE PANDEMIC. Apart from the bimonthly visits to the grocery store we have not stepped out of our homes. A complete six months have passed and we are bored to our bones. So, after meticulous planning and speculation and more planning- the plan is ON!

Thanks to the Corona Virus we’re actually headed to a destination that would have never been possible with my set of family- A Jungle Retreat!! You see, we are the ‘laze by the beach’ or ‘shop at the mall’ kind of family.

Open Air, Drive into the lush green forests where the virus would not be so prevalent seems to be our line of thought. Whatever it is- I couldn’t be more pleased! A trip to the Ranthambore National Park, Rajasthan has been on my bucket list since I was 10. It’s my fascination with the Indian Bengal Tiger and a desire to see the beauty in its own territory that spins this dream.

Ranthambore not yet, It’s the Nagarhole Tiger Reserve, Kabini that we are headed to. At the luxurious resort we make a booking for the afternoon “JUNGLE SAFARI”.

“I hope we come back alive” jokes Mister. He’s trying to keep it light to hide his excitement. Anyways, as we start off we all say a fervent prayer – My only prayer is to spot a Tiger. Please God, please, please, PLEASE!! “

“There are around 120 tigers in the Park” tells our Safari Guide. That’s a BIG number!!! My heart soars!! “Sssshhh- you must be very quiet if you want to not disturb the wildlife”-he warns. With the number of kids in our mini bus his stern tone is quite deserved. All the parents glare at their respective offspring with menacing “fingers on your lips”. The silence is eerie...

It’s a lucky start as we spot a wild Indian Elephant with long trunks. He is splendid!

My daughter who wished to see an elephant is ecstatic- Humph!! If only the wretch had asked to see a tiger-we could have used her luck. That's 'Incredibly Mean' me.

Moving ahead we capture on our phone cameras some Spotted Deer, a herd of Wild Bison, an Iguana, the beautiful Samba Deer and lots of black faced Langurs. There is no dearth of eagles and the endangered horn bills! A striking kingfisher and a beautiful white crane languish by the lake. We wait for a while as this where a tiger was seen in the morning safari. No luck! Maybe it’s not thirsty right now (:

Peacocks and Mongoose also appear as we drive back and forth -deeper and deeper into the forest looking out for the Wild Cat.

Ahead deer are running- IS IT A WILD CALL? A tiger's on the prowl? Our bodies stiffen...

No sight of anything but more deer. I’m close to tears.

It’s getting dark – the forest looks fantastic. I look at the gorge down and imagine a tigress with her cubs hiding behind. The dream seems so close but yet so far!

A frantic call on the guide’s walkie talkie informs that a tiger has come to drink water at the lake that we left behind a while ago. “Let’s go back” we insist.

“It’s too late ma’am.  We must be heading back. “

Back at the resort we are crestfallen. Let’s go for the safari in the morning. We must try again.

It’s a breathtaking sunrise! The sights are the same- just a family of elephants is the highlight of our trip. Another tiger less safari. I’m seething with rage! We’ve been cheated! All these safaris are a waste of time. There are no tigers- they are just conning us. It’s an endless barrage of complaints.

As the holiday comes to an end we meet other fellow travelers most of whom have been on at least 4 safaris. Try, try, try again seems to be the mantra for success. The elusive cat shows itself only to the Lucky Ones or to the true believers. The smooth slow walk of the striped beast is worth the wait. Catch the The Eye of the Tiger -Mesmerizing to say the least.

On the picturesque drive back home I realize how the jungle safari was so much like the journey called LIFE. We pass such beautiful sights on our way but wear blinkers on our eyes. Each person chases his own dream of success. Endlessly looking for that wild elusive cat- “happiness” while tiny pleasures pass by unnoticed. To have so much fauna around and yet say we didn’t see anything. It’s what most of us do. Chasing the elusive we lose value for the definite and confronting. The little joys lose meaning when compared to that one big sighting of “success”. Also, in life too success comes to those who persevere- the mantra of hard work and luck never fails.

The Jungle out there taught me a lesson I won't forget- To be content with what I have. The cool breeze on my face, the sights and sounds around that I take for granted. 'Right Here'-must be valued for what it is. Am I a changed person you ask?

NO WAY! A promise to go back in the summer. We shall not rest till we hear the 

Tiger ROAR!!