THAT SPECIAL DAY

 Today I came across a new word that describes me- Xennial. Makes me feel like what I always wanted to be Xena! The Warrior Princess! Before you get visions of the steaming hot Brunette in the black leather dress- please STOP!

 

Xennial is a word that describes people born in the cusp years between Generation X and the Millennials. Enchantingly boring, you would say. Yet, thinking of it there are so many things that we Xennials have in common. One of them is our love for a special day. The one day that makes you look forward to life. A special friend, years ago gifted me a Garfield poster that summed it up. I LIVE FOR SATURDAYS! Beamed the Orange Cat. I do too!!

 

Honestly, for most of my life to date, I’ve lived from one Saturday to the next. My school was 30 km from my home! After a full five days of travel, studies, and homework, Saturday would be my day to sleep in. No one dared to wake me up early today. It’s the cycle of Karma- what you give is what you receive. My brats refuse to get up before 11 a.m. on Saturday mornings. I remember my mom’s rants as I go through my Super Saturday Mornings! Catching up on sleep, cooking, and getting the whole week dusting and cleaning done. Simultaneously I need to take care of both the kids’ routines. We must cut nails, have oil massages, scrub our teeth and clean our ears. Ugh, by afternoon I’m exhausted! 

 

The evening however brings hope. There is something about the air on a Saturday evening. An unmistakable lightness pervades and you feel joy all around you. The effect is universal. I’ve felt it everywhere I’ve been. The atmosphere on a Saturday evening is magical! As kids, we spent these wonderful evenings catching up on new movies on VCR. Saturday nights were for rejuvenating oil massages that would keep your hair shiny and strong. All that changed in College. “What is the plan for Saturday night?” asked the cute guy beside me in the library. “What’s the scene for Saturday night?” asked the gang after marriage. My generation grew up watching John Travolta croon in Saturday Night Fever and Alia Bhatt gyrating to Kudi Saturday, Saturday Kardi! We are indeed influenced! 

 

A lot has changed after the kids, though. Constantly changing nappies makes you forget the days of the week completely. But not for long! As the children begin school the change is visible. Come Saturday, and you have a list of things to do! Birthday party invites from all and sundry! The sequence of Saturday night fever begins once more! 

No matter what the plan- whether it’s a quiet dinner with family, a wild Saturday night party or just being at home watching television. There is something special about a Saturday. You feel a certain natural high. There isn’t a care in the world. The next day is a holiday and no one can take away your freedom tonight. That’s what a Saturday means! 

 

Compare this to the gloom and unexplained depression that Sunday nights bring. As the sun moves down below the horizon on Sunday, my heart sinks too. 

Kids hate the thought of returning to school after the weekend, but we adults too can’t stop the tide of sudden unhappiness. It starts rising as the clock strikes 6. By nightfall, you feel tears rise and a choking feeling on your neck! I know couples whose kids have passed out of college. They do not need to return to the Monday Morning routine. Yet, these guys feel the same! We begin counting the days till the next Saturday! Each Sunday evening brings a longing for the dawn of the next Saturday. Au revoir dear friend! Till we meet again- On that Special Day-Saturday!

 

 

ONE DAY WITHOUT THE INTERNET

 

It was a regular Thursday morning. The morning rush of packing two kids off to school leaves me exhausted. However, today, there was no time to rest. The assignment I had been working on for two weeks was due that day. I had to upload the files onto the client’s server by 4 p.m. sharp.

Finishing breakfast quickly and cooking lunch, I hurriedly sat down to work. To give you a brief I work as a freelance fashion illustrator. I work from Home. All my projects are received and delivered over the internet.

A few last-minute picture references needed to be downloaded to corroborate my designs... An hour’s work on the internet, a thorough look over the entire pdf, and finally, upload. Yes! My day was planned to the tee.

As I logged onto Google, up came a blank page. “Your internet connection is deactivated.”

I closed the browser window, checked my Wi-Fi settings, and tried again. Unsuccessful!

I tried connecting to the internet on my smartphone. No luck. On checking my text messages I found the answer to my misery. A message from the internet service provider. It said that due to maintenance work outside our apartment the internet connection would be disabled for the entire day!

Panic-stricken I called my neighbor who was kind enough to say that the connection might be restored by 7 p.m. otherwise the next morning. All hell broke loose... How will I be able to meet the deadline today? Cyber cafes existed a decade ago... do we have them now? Being so used to 24*7 WIFI CONNECTIVITY I felt lost. It was a strange feeling like I was marooned on an island. Completely isolated and cut off from the world.

It’s tough to imagine that the Internet is an invention as recent as the 1990s. Before that, the public did not have access to the World Wide Web. An invention so recent is now an integral part of our lives. All of us are connected at some point in the day to the internet. Most people start their day by checking their emails or WhatsApp notifications. Social media, OTT Entertainment, YouTube, and Online Shopping keep the public glued to the Web. For me and lots of professionals, the internet is a means of income. You can access stock markets and commodity exchanges worldwide over the Internet. The World Economy, Healthcare, and, Education survived the Covid 19 crisis thanks to the INTERNET.

No internet access can be crippling.

 

A kind friend agreed to let me use a workstation at her office with a Wi-Fi connection. Packing my laptop I rushed there and was able to upload my assignment successfully. Once back home I realized that the kids were late! They should have been home by now! I dialed the number of the school van driver. It was unavailable. As the home internet connection was still deactivated I could not access the GPRS locator of the school Van. WhatsApp messages on the school Mom’s Group would buzz with information. I was not receiving any. Panic attack no.2! Frantically trying to call the parents of kids who shared the same van. One parent reassured me that the bus had had a flat tyre a few kilometers from school. The van had stopped en route and the driver had managed to fix it. The kids would be home in less than 10 minutes. Phew! I breathed a sigh of relief!

 

It was 5 p.m. by the time the children reached home. Hungry, exhausted, and cranky. My little one ate her snack and wanted to curl up on the bed with her iPad to watch videos on YouTube kids.

It’s her way of relaxing. As there was no internet she could only watch videos that had been downloaded before on the device. She soon got bored and threw a fit! Oh my! As if my day couldn’t get worse! It took a lot of my energy and patience to calm her down. She blackmailed me into calling a friend home for a play date. I thought she was too tired to play!!

It was the elder one’s turn now. His science Homework due the next day needed him to do research on the internet. Oh no! Again we tumbled into the car- 3 kids, a laptop, and I. We headed to a café nearby that offered free Wi-Fi. Sipping on some much-needed strong coffee I thought about how my kids’ lives were also so Internet dependent. Young and Old find it difficult to manage even a day without internet connectivity.

The light of the Wi-Fi signal turned green only at 7.45 that night. I remember the time so clearly because of the loud shrieks that the kids let out! Just minutes before their bedtime and they were able to get some online gaming and Youtubing. Finally, both slept peacefully. Exhausted, I too decided to call it a day. Hey, Wait! I had a full day’s mail and messages to catch up on! Sleep could wait! The Internet was on. Welcome back, dear friend! 

 

 

 

WITHIN ME FOREVER

 WITHIN ME FOREVER

This year I turn 10. Do not be astonished, I am not talking about my age. It is going to be a decade since I became a Mom. When you step into motherhood. Not only do you bring a new life into the world, but get a whole new life yourself. EVERYTHING changes in this new avatar. Frankly, I am becoming ten this Diwali.

Ten long years- yet, I can remember almost every bit of my journey. Each milestone that my firstborn encountered - is engraved on my mind. I can see it clearly and vividly. How the nurse pointed out his finely shaped eyebrows as she laid him into my arms, the clothes he had worn on the day of the first vaccine, his first proper meal, his favorite song. The first day of playschool, nursery, etc., etc. Do you get what I mean? 

However, it is just the opposite of the second one. What happened? Did I close my eyes in exhaustion by the time she started taking her first steps? Maybe, I just settled down as a mother. The second kid sorts you out as a parent. You learn to treat your kids as kids. And stop being obsessed with the creatures. I graduated from being a scout on constant ATTENTION to one AT EASE.

It is generally this way for children born second or third in any family. These kids learn to find their way around better than their elder siblings. Parents become wiser and let the child be; without fussing unnecessarily as they do for their firstborn. Although I get it often "you love Bhaiya, more than me!" no one believes it. My younger one is as spoilt as the first, if not more. She’s “The Smarty” who gets her way every time! IN EVERYTHING!

Pretty often I find myself admonishing my kids in the same manner that my Mother used to. I've become MY MOM reincarnate - I never thought I would. I hated her, all through my years of growing up. So often I get the same treatment from my brats when I'm strict and enforcing rules. They Hate Me! 

This is the experience of being a Parent. It's like a rollercoaster ride. At one time you are at a peak and the next minute you come hurtling down. Before you can take a breath, there comes a steep turn that makes your body stretch like an elastic band. You must hold tight, fasten the seatbelt and be ready to SCREAM! Don't hop on the ride if you want to keep your sanity intact. You’ve got to get your hands dirty, your clothes and hair all messed up, and, end up breathless! Then be prepared for the ride to start all over again!!! 

Parenting is tough and challenging, nonetheless an exhilarating experience!

My kids are my responsibility. They didn't choose to be born, that choice was mine. Whatever it takes, I will do my best to give them the best. I owe it to them. Education, learning, values, skills- professional and interpersonal – all-around excellence. That's our endeavor. All moms and dads want the same. We all try to do the best for our children. There are no rules to Parenting. It’s unfair to judge anyone’s parenting. Some moms are hardworking, some are lazy, some mothers are over-cautious and some are laid back. Some like me are strict while others are lenient. The key as Lord Buddha said, is in finding - The Middle Path. I'm yet to trudge upon it.

If I take extra care and make meals as per the choice of the children- I’m making them fussy. If sometimes I just want to let go and keep it simple- I’m lazy. If the mother shows her affection towards her kids- she’s pampering them and being overprotective. However, if she treats them normally- she’s rude and indifferent! Phew! Take the rough with the smooth- we all sail through- I HOPE!

Despite the hardships, the better part of motherhood is- The Children. To be able to hold and care for your own. Little hands, tiny feet, and chubby chins to cuddle and watch them grow. Unconditional kisses and hugs can brighten up the darkest of days. I see a reflection of myself in their sparkling eyes. Bringing them up makes me relive my childhood, my fantasies, and my dreams. I’m never alone as I’ve found best friends in my two darlings. Kids can be molded by love and care. That’s the only rule that you can follow. 

We, new-age moms want our kids to be as independent as possible. I’m no different. “When will you eat on your own? Why can’t you go down without me accompanying you?” You must do most of your tasks on your own, I can’t help you always” These are common laments I’ve made. However, as they turn older and more independent I miss being needed all the time. “Chill Ma, I’ll do it on my own.” I strangely miss the times when I sat long hours beside him with the Math and Phonics.

“Mom, I’m going down!” yells the younger brat and before I can say Jack Nicholson, the door slams shut. I feel lost…. Too early isn’t it for the empty nest syndrome to settle in? Within minutes she’s back, tears rolling down her cheeks. Some kids pulled her hair and teased her. I must go and teach them a lesson!! 

“Mamma, will you help me?”

 “Sure darling, I’ll always help you!” I reply beaming.

We can’t hold onto our children. It's important to let go and have no expectations. May their dreams take them to unprecedented heights and their endeavors meet success unparalleled.

As life unfolds, they will encounter disappointment, heartbreak, and anguish. In moments when they need me, I will be there. Physically or emotionally We parents will be there to support our kids. That little light that came from me will be Within Me, Forever.

The Melting Pot

 Summer is over with a BANG! Quite literally, I’d say. A few days back, I was caught in a car crash- hit headlong by a speeding bike from the opposite side. In a flash, the airbags were out, the windshield smashed and curls of smoke began rising. I felt I had reached heaven. Alas, the doors of heaven aren’t open for me yet. Fortunately, I escaped unhurt apart from a few bruises and a bleeding lip. The accident did much more to me than just that, surely.

Remember how we empty a packet of biscuits into a jar? A bang on the jar sorts them into their places, making room for a few more. That’s what this jolt did to me. It sorted out my head and allowed the negativity to escape, making room for the forgotten feeling of gratitude to settle in again. Thankful for being alive, happy, and writing again.

Let’s start at the beginning of summer. As school vacations began, we set off, bound westward!! After 3 long years thanks to the pandemic, I am heading to the city that is characterized by its unique essence and vibrancy. Mumbai, the city where I grew up, studied, and laid the most important foundations of my life!

Welcome to Mumbai—the warm and sultry air hits you almost like an old friend greeting you with a friendly slap on your back.

Each day, millions of people enter this megapolis hoping to fulfill their dreams, make a fortune, or just plain have a good time like me. Mumbai disappoints nobody.

 

 The best part, I feel, about the city is the sea. It travels along the island’s length from South Mumbai to the North. You can either visit the iconic and picturesque Marine Drive or catch it at Chowpatty Girgaum. If you are a love-struck couple, head to Bandra Bandstand for the perfect evening by the water. For families with pesky kids, Juhu beach is ideal, or you can head as far as Gorai creek on your journey with the sea. The Sea Link, connecting the suburbs and the city, is spectacular and a drive over it by night time is not to be missed.

 

Shopping is what most head to Mumbai for. Apart from the malls, there are amazing wholesale and local markets in every locality. Dadar market, Santacruz, Fashion Street, Linking Road, Crawford market, etc., the list is endless. All the best designers have their outlets in Mumbai. My favorite shopping haunt in the city is Colaba Causeway. Globe trotters have this colorful market on their bucket list. Try the shoes, bags, and clothes on the streets or walk into any one of the swanky boutiques. Nobody walks out of those streets with empty hands- no one, trust me.

 

Mumbai is called the Financial Capital of India. You can smell money on the streets. Every dinner conversation in the city eventually steers towards real estate and property prices. The sums range between 5 and 100 crores! It is one of the most expensive cities in the world, yet there are innumerable ways to explore Mumbai without making a big dent in your pocket. Bollywood and the Hindi Television Industry call Mumbai home. Celebrities can be spotted easily in any of the swanky boutiques, pubs, or salons in the elite western suburbs of Khar and Bandra.

 

What I hold dear about this city is its affability. The indomitable spirit of Mumbai! It’s easy to make friends here, Strike up a conversation on a common topic with a stranger-I do it often, People don’t judge too much... Which is the case in small cities, I can walk down the streets to pick up my groceries wearing shorts and a tee and with a messy bun without as much as a whisper, I couldn’t even dream of doing this in Coimbatore. Here I see people in supermarkets with Louis Vuitton bags and perfect make-up-buying tomatoes!!!

People mind their own business and avoid interfering in the decisions of others. This attitude, however, has its downsides. It can get very lonely in this big, bad city. Everyone’s caught in the grind. They are too busy doing their thing. I have many friends in Mumbai, but I have to make appointments to meet up with them when I'm in town!!

 

They may be few, but my friends here in our small town of Coimbatore are the best! Always ready to help, just a call away. If I’m down in the dumps, they’d surely be around to catch up for lunch and cheer me up! 

The city of Mumbai is like a Melting Pot where diverse communities, classes, talents, ideas, and individuals simmer. They merge and blend, losing their individuality and taking on a new hue and identity. High-rise, multi-storeyed apartments coexist with the filthiest of slums here. Beautiful driveways coexist with corners overflowing with waste disposal yards. Unbelievable, yet true. Each familiar alley leads to something unknown. A dip in this melting pot brings out new emotions and stirs my senses, awakening a restlessness and creativity that keeps me charged. Till the Melting Pot beckons again.....

HORN PLEASE! I'M OK

                   HORN PLEASE! I'M OK

 

Indian Summers can be excruciating, to say the least. If you have the misfortune of being stuck in traffic in South India on a sweltering, summer afternoon, you'd agree. Air conditioning does not help much, trust me.

          So here I am, on my way to pick up my daughter from school- correctly 1.45 pm on the penultimate day of March. Caught in a traffic jam – an unending line of vehicles ahead. And a sea of them around me….We move, then stop. The minutes tick by but the wait seems endless. Restless people in their vehicles look around for some answers. When will this traffic move? When the signal turns green, I guess? The car behind me honks, then the biker beside, and soon it's cacophony all around!

We move, but a few yards on it's a halt, again! The futility of fretting dawns on me, and I turn up the music volume on the pen drive. Glancing around, I wonder why we call Life "A Journey?" It's a "Ride in Traffic" actually. Stay with me, and you'll begin to piece it together.

We are all waiting in our vehicles- some in fancy Limousines, .Mercedes, and Jaguars. Some are in their shiny SUVs, basic i10s, and comfortable hatchbacks, while others are on bikes, scooters or buses, and autos. Each vehicle is symbolic of a person's house, lifestyle, and worldly possessions. Each person carries their burdens of karma with them as luggage. We must steer our cars with the utmost care, or else someone will dash you. It's indeed, a dangerous world with everyone eyeing the other- ready to snatch and overthrow. As we are waiting for the traffic signs to say GO, we look around us and envy other people. The man in the Limousine is too high and mighty and continues talking to his co-rider (elite circle of family and friends). All the others want to be in his car – some stare with obvious envy, some with hatred, and the other contented lot look on.

          Life is an overcrowded road with other vehicles around us. These are the significant others in our lives. Family, friends, colleagues- all those who share our journey. As the green light glows we all gear up and move. Some move faster than the rest. They zoom ahead and out of sight. These are the ones who chase their dreams and race on, leaving others behind. Now they ride with other vehicles- new friends they meet and bond with. At some point the automobiles that were trailing caught up. As the saying goes- "The past comes catching up." Learn to let it go.

          You must have noticed that as soon as you start getting used to a pattern- it could be a lifestyle, a job, or maybe something as insignificant as a workout routine. You feel, "yeah, I'm doing great now- this is going to be smooth sailing." Up comes a sudden jolt, and things grind to a halt. Like the traffic light just turned red. You must wait till it changes color and then move, either on the same road or change course. I'm sure we've all experienced this. No matter how hard you make the attempts you will see the results only when the right time comes- When the light turns green, metaphorically speaking.

It's how we handle the waiting period, the 'stuck in the traffic mode' that defines us as humans. Some people enjoy each moment and live to the fullest converting every obstacle into an opportunity. Some bicker and bawl- feel frustrated, depressed turning to vices, etc. Others quietly wait. "Leave it till the time is right." Everyone goes through each phase- each traffic jam and comes out wiser in their unique way.

          We all know that ultimately The Green Light will beckon. It's inevitable. Each one must pass through once that happens to leave all the others behind. Yet, we hold on – to the road like it's never going to end. While waiting in traffic we get restless, annoyed, or start snacking! As the sweat drips, we beg the cars ahead to move. We bang our horns incessantly, step out and go check- "what's keeping the traffic so jammed" I'm going to miss my meeting!!!"  Loosen up, guys! Let's learn to jam in the Jam.

Go slow, it's going to be over soon. Enjoy the heat and dust and the wait. We know not when the time to get into gear and move on appears. Some will go straight, a few turns left, some right, and some might take a U-turn and join the Jam again!

"HONK, HONK"- the line is moving! Yay! I need to rush to pick up my poor girl still at school. Will I get stuck in the traffic on the way back home? I'll probably say, "HORN PLEASE, I'm OK!"

THE HUMAN TOUCH

 

It is a gloomy, rain-drenched evening. Cooped indoors the kids and I try to find ways to keep ourselves occupied. “Mamma, do you want to play a new game?” quips my little daughter. Before I can reply she jumps up on her feet!  Stretching her arms out she instructs me and her brother to follow suit. We do so. Clapping her hands and alternatingly touching our outstretched palms she begins to sing-

“Who took the cookie from the cookie jar?”

With a delighted shriek, I chip in “NO.1 TOOK THE COOKIE FROM THE COOKIE JAR!”

They look astonished as I keep on singing and we have a hearty time clapping hands and playing my favorite childhood game. 

A thought creeps into my mind and I shout “who taught you this game? Who were you playing with? Did all those girls wash their hands before they played the game?” The poor kids look bewildered. “Is mom having mood swings?” they wonder as they exchange queer looks. I’m not going berserk. It’s the coronavirus scare that persists. The best game ever now seems dangerous. It is a close contact game that doesn’t follow the norms of social distancing! Imagine that!

We are limping back to normalcy with the pandemic threat persisting. Masks, sanitizers, and frequent hand washing has become imbibed into our daily routine. Schools have reopened and the kids are back to school!! Yippee! I’m like all my fellow moms- ecstatic!! We neatly make our children wear their masks, label the extra mask, and put it into their bag. Each is doing her part perfectly- desperate that the child should reach school safely and be away! For a couple of hours at least!!!

So also, our social lives are getting back to normal. The gleam and excitement in our eyes are unbelievable as we greet friends and family. We hug tightly as we meet people in person after years… literally speaking. There’s so much to catch up on, so much to share, and more to recall. I had never imagined that I’d see tears streaming down the eyes of friends who used to be inseparable. The pandemic forced them apart and their reunion is worth a watch. Delighted grandparents need to reconnect with their grandkids who’ve suddenly Grown Up within these years.  

Despite COVID19, the world moved on. We worked from home, attended online school and tutorials. Virtual seminars, Zoom Kitty Parties, Online Satsangs, and Funeral Prayer Meets became the norm. Young and old…. Everyone was connected. Yet, a strange void lingered. The twinkle in the eye tells you that my smile is genuine. The warmth of the handshake reveals the intent.  Without the contact and proximity, it was tough to judge character. 

The OTT platform brought entertainment at our fingertips and no one complained. However, as we return to multiplex cinemas we realize that this is where the magic of the movies lives. Passing the popcorn carton we look at each other. Yes, we’ve missed this!

Our future is bright. We know we have the technology to overcome any challenge that might befall. Artificial Intelligence, Robots, Space Tourism, and Flying Cars. All that was once Science Fiction is now a reality. The generations will flourish, virus and all. The one thing that we need most of all without which it all seems worthless- Is the very basic -The Human Touch. 

 

STEP INTO AN UNKNOWN WORLD

 About ten years ago, my husband and I were fighting infertility. Desperately trying numerous invasive, painful and exorbitant methods to achieve parenthood. 

I wish we had rather consulted a Fortune Teller. Someone who would have looked into a crystal ball and shown us our future- 10 years from then. 

Alas, I did nothing of that sort. Trashing medics I embraced motherhood with a miracle conception, unaware of what lay ahead- The year 2020 and counting….

         The Coronavirus pandemic has taken our world by storm. Lockdowns have come and gone, but for me, the Lockdown continues… We must keep ourselves locked in with our kids who are still confined mostly within the walls of the home or any space that “we” inhabit. As an Indian mother of two, I am still scared of the virus. I cannot send my kids anywhere unattended and without a chaperone. It is the second academic year wherein the kids attend school from home… and God bless me that I haven’t murdered one of them yet!!

         My sense of being and perception has altered. I can hardly identify with this current scenario. Childhood memories of the school to me are those of a sense of belonging. I loved my school premises, our uniform, badge, and my school culture. I still remember the way my favourite teacher Mrs, Baijal smiled and ruffled our heads. Today, all of that is lost. My kid could be in any school- it does not matter too much in an online platform. The teacher appears on Zoom and is a mere face and a voice. Albeit, a pleasant one with an incredibly polite voice. Every child’s comment/answer is met with a “Super” or an “Awesome", response by the teacher. If they are so awesome, do they need to learn??? No one is rude or admonishing to our children anymore. The teachers are on their best behavior as parents can hear every word. As a result, we have a new breed of Brats.

         These Brats loudly interrupt the ongoing class and say “Ma’am” it’s time up!” They chat online - writing notes to each other, while the class is on. Even better, after attendance the video is conveniently switched off and the child is off to do ‘the big job”. “It’s okay, Ma, chill. I’ll just watch the class video recording!” They tell me as I look aghast! 

Google provides answers and lifesaving advice on everything – while parents and teachers are merely around as providers of food, clothes, and certificates, I guess.

         I know that this phase too will pass and eventually schools will reopen. I am just unhappy as my young kids have lost their childhood and innocence in these 2 years. They are always around us- their parents and have thus, infiltrated our world. There is no demarcation between the Adult’s and a Child’s world anymore. They know when the parents are busy, how they work, what goes on in their minds and can read them. 

I find myself ill-equipped to deal with these “mini-adults”. They have email accounts, computer proficiency, can download programs, and also hack passwords!! They have developed a lack of respect for authority and demand an explanation for every instruction. “Why must I brush my teeth every night?”

If I had asked my mom this a tight rap would have just been the answer. Not anymore… Of course, they get raps, but that too must be justified. “Why did u slap me?” Phew!

         The Value System that we grew up with- Honesty, Hard work, and Perfection don't hold anymore. Information is available at the tip of our fingers. Just swipe you have it. Hard work is overrated. The bare minimum of effort seems to be enough. What are the skill sets that I must provide my kids to equip them for the future? They are not focused. The options they have are innumerable. A strange fear overcomes me as I think about it. The world that this generation is going to step into is unknown. 

Young kids are successful entrepreneurs today. They have stock portfolios and are coding experts. What would these kids aspire to grow up to be? Will they completely fizzle off by the time they reach 35? 

         Confidence and self-worth need to be the basis of this generation. With Super achievers and billionaires all around, only the mentally strong will survive. Guess I shall love my kids unconditionally, hoping that they will be strong at heart and mind as they Step into this Unknown World.

 

Women and the Pandemic War

 

           It is 18 months since the deadly, highly contagious killer–“Corona Virus” wrecked our world. We are at a war to survive. The weapons we have are a few- Soap. Sanitizers and Masks. It’s hilarious you would say. How can you fight a battle with these? I’d rather not get technical- we know the rules. Each individual on this planet is fighting this war. Apart from some lucky ones currently taking dips in the holy Ganges at the Kumbh Mela, Rajasthan. I do so envy those idiots! 

 

 Like in any other war that has been fought over the centuries: here too women and children are the worst affected. Kids have been confined within their homes and apartment blocks with little or no physical school. Enjoying themselves with a complete or almost 50% abandonment of studies. Online classes are a casualty of this pandemic. The teacher appears on the computer screen – kids give attendance and then boom! Either the video disappears or the child runs to the bathroom to do the big job! For underprivileged children, Covid 19 has very sadly taken them away from education and forced them towards child labor. 

 

Women all over the world are the toughest warriors of this battle. Working Women who usually struggle to manage work and family are now being grilled! We have ‘Work from Home’- the answer to all our misery. Do the housework, do the office work, help the kids with homework, help the husband with his work- all from Home. The entire day the woman is at “Work”- from Home. 

 

“Stay Home Stay Safe” has elevated the status of The Homemaker woman to new heights. She is the one who makes your home the haven that it’s become. The poor lady would wind up all her work and get a few hours to herself while the husband was away and kids at school. Now she must organize the home space in such a way that the husband must not be disturbed- “he’s busy”. The kids cannot be disturbed- the teacher can see it all. So she must cook before the office starts. The cooker whistle cannot screech as the boss can hear it! She must feed the kids at super speed in between class breaks as the rule is- “no munching before the computer screen.” 

 

Apart from these, we women have taken up challenging new roles like- 

“The Heater”- She provides hot water and kadha to family members at regular intervals during the day to ensure the virus stays away,  

“The Nurse”- She wears a mask and keeps the affected family member in isolation. She must ensure his/her food is provided to them in their room, the laundry washed separately and their surroundings disinfected. 

“The Teacher”- She helps her children follow what the remote teacher is saying in the online class and makes them complete and submit school activities online.

“The Counsellor”- She helps family, friends, and colleagues cope with depression, loss of social contact, and other emotional outcomes of the pandemic.

The Hairdresser- Salons being the first things to close women quickly mastered the art of cutting hair for their husbands and kids.

 

These are just a few of the innumerable ways by which women are fighting this battle.

 

             In all this, the demands on a Woman’s physical, mental, and emotional being have been huge. Many women are caught in this unending cycle of giving. The amount that women are giving to the world today is far more than can be accounted for. Psychologically too, we are spent. 

 

            In so many families infected with this deadly virus, it is the women who have had the most severe symptoms. Numerous cases where women have been hospitalized for weeks as the virus wrecked their organs. Why? Because she was so busy giving vitamins and hot water to her family that she didn’t realize when her glass turned cold. Exhausted at night, she would forget to inhale steam herself after giving all her family their daily inhaling sessions. To those who’ve abused their women for generations- Wake Up! She is the backbone of your world. Help her while she helps you. To the young, I say hold your mom/grandmom and make her sit down for her meal. Remind her to take her vitamins. Let her shout out her frustration. Just listen to her. She is the warrior who can win this war. Women can help each other by sharing their experiences- trust me it works wonders to just know that you are not alone. 

 

Mankind must win this battle and it cannot do it without acknowledging the other half -Womankind. A new word? Perhaps, but it’s time has come.

 

Let Meee Go

 

LET MEEE GO

 

           Last week I heard a lady shouting at her domestic help. It was disturbing. Not that this is a rare occurrence and one that I’m far removed from. I shout at my help frequently.

It was, however the content of what the rich lady had to belt out to the poor one that unnerved me. “How dare you not return my calls? I’m paying you better than her- Leave that job and work only for ME!” 

I thought slavery was abolished a few centuries ago. 

 

          Maybe it’s just karma, but I heard a similar refrain within a couple of days. This time among friends. “Who do you think you’re talking to? My family is the most respected in town. If I say something notorious about you, You would not be able to step out of your home” 

Again I couldn’t sleep. What is this “I, “ME” “MINE” that there’s so much arrogance about? Common people around me possess such a false sense of importance and self-worth. 

 

            The ego kills our relationships not just at the class levels but also among equals. The thought, “I am superior to him” makes one look down upon others. It’s prevalent all around. Men think they are superior to women. Parents constantly feel superior to their children. Parenting is always about kids listening to their parents and never vice versa. If you accept your child as your teacher- there is a world of knowledge you’d discover! Just let the ego go.

 

            On a particular day, I happened to share the elevator with a man who cleans cars in our apartment. He smiled an astonished smile, and exclaimed as to how I’d managed to shed soo much weight! The comment left me furious! “How could this man talk like that to me?” I might have killed him with my bare hands had he not stepped out at the next level. The same remark, had it come from a friend or a neighbor would have been a “compliment”. Is this not egoistic? 

 

             Our world is built by the Human ego. The ego clash between the Kauravas and Pandavas brought about the battle of Kurukshetra in the Mahabharata. 

Rameses’ ego was hurt by Moses and he refused to free His people. Centuries of warfare and bloodshed could have been avoided had Men kept their false sense of importance aside.

 

 “Women must never ruffle their husbands’ ego to ensure a successful marriage”- Says a celebrity Godman. I heartily agree. The EGO will not either let HER go or HE Goes. It only believes in ME go.

Shrug it off, take a lesson and let it go. 

 

PARTNERS IN CRIME

 

PARTNERS IN CRIME

 

One fine sunny afternoon I am startled by these words. “Mom, have you gone Coo-coo Bananas?” asks the snob. Is that an obscenity? Almost fell off my chair! Within a few days, I get plain used to it. Each time I would ask my children to finish the vegetables I could hear it. The time I screamed at the sight of the neighbour’s puppy-“I’d again gone coo-coo bananas!” Google it- Coo-coo Bananas means to have lost your mind- gone barmy. I surely have! 

 

Of all the roles thrust upon me- Parenting is by far the most challenging and ridiculously instructional. Each day I learn something new. Maybe a phrase, a concept, or perhaps a new way of looking at things. My perspectives are being altered by my little, but not so innocent kids. 

 

One day we are out on a shopping trip. At a shoe store, I try on a pair and strut around for approval from the family. 

“Just say it’s awesome! Then we can go fast to buy our toys” whispers the younger one to her brother. Devil’s Advocate- Is she a part of ME? 

 Once, while watching emotional movie tears roll down my eyes. My elder one doesn’t wince. “Mom’s just missing Grandma,” he coolly explains to calm his sister. Really, “Mr. Know It All”? 

 

Our daughter- The youngest Harry Potter Fan I’ve known throws stunning spells at me- “Wingardium Leviosa”! I duck! Already elevated to a new level, aren’t I?

 

 

It’s been a busy week. I’m struggling to meet a deadline and my kids know it. You’d expect them to be on their best behaviour. However, it’s just the opposite. Engrossed in work, I hardly look up when they come home for dinner after playtime. The rule is – No television or tabs during meal times. 

A loud scream erupts from the kids’ room. Then another petrifying shriek. I rush. There is a fistfight going on that progresses into kicks and hair snatching. “Please stop it you two” Get away from each other. I’ll put on the Television while you can have the Tab too!” 

 

The screaming stops. 

 

As I leave, from the corner of my eye I catch the ‘hi-five’ they exchange. Caught in their snare, I just can’t escape my Partners in Crime.

 

BYE BYE 2020- YOU’RE HISTORY

Lazily, I recall the brilliant fireworks on display last night and sigh! It is January 1^st 2021- beginning of another year….

“HAPPY NEW YEAR, ma. Has the Corona Virus gone?” asks my little one lying beside me. Again I sigh- there seems to be nothing new to my routine of answering these pesky persistent questions. Ha! New Year indeed!

 

2020- The year that went by is being condemned around the world. Good riddance, hateful year, the worst year ever! The anti-adjectives are endless. However, I want to say a heartfelt “Thank You” to the retreating year. I’ve learnt so much this year for which, I'm grateful.

 

Surprised? I don’t think so- There are many like me. WE want to say thank you to 2020- the year of the pandemic. It taught us that We Can Survive!

60 days without any domestic help- I survived. Working 18 hours each day to keep the family fed, the house cleaned and the surfaces sanitized- I SURVIVED!

Running a school, a restaurant and an office- all from home was something I never thought was possible. But, we DID it.

 

“Prioritize your health” was the mantra grilled into us by 2020. Everything else- paid work, socializing, commuting etc., all took a backseat. I learnt innumerable ways to boost immunity from innumerable sources. Some are really effective! Eating hot, freshly cooked meals and drinking potfuls of warm liquids became the trend! Even my lazy 8 year old brat learnt pranayama to protect himself from the virus! That’s an achievement, I’d say!

Along came Online School… I definitely learnt more than my kids did! We were pleasantly surprised to find out that my son is a computer genius! Fantastic 2020, right?

Friends who mattered stayed in touch while the others were too busy to call and connect on Zoom/Duo. The world and I discovered true meaningful relationships.

I applaud my friends and family who provided care to loved ones afflicted with the virus. They worked tirelessly to isolate the sick and help them recover. From them I learnt- Selfless Love.

 

We grieved for those who lost the battle to the virus. Praying incessantly for not just myself but the world; I learnt.

A historic year it’s been. Unimaginable, but not to be forgotten soon. Lucky to have witnessed this phenomena and the way the world emerged from it. Thanks 2020 you’ve made us too – A part of History!