THE HUMAN TOUCH

 

It is a gloomy, rain-drenched evening. Cooped indoors the kids and I try to find ways to keep ourselves occupied. “Mamma, do you want to play a new game?” quips my little daughter. Before I can reply she jumps up on her feet!  Stretching her arms out she instructs me and her brother to follow suit. We do so. Clapping her hands and alternatingly touching our outstretched palms she begins to sing-

“Who took the cookie from the cookie jar?”

With a delighted shriek, I chip in “NO.1 TOOK THE COOKIE FROM THE COOKIE JAR!”

They look astonished as I keep on singing and we have a hearty time clapping hands and playing my favorite childhood game. 

A thought creeps into my mind and I shout “who taught you this game? Who were you playing with? Did all those girls wash their hands before they played the game?” The poor kids look bewildered. “Is mom having mood swings?” they wonder as they exchange queer looks. I’m not going berserk. It’s the coronavirus scare that persists. The best game ever now seems dangerous. It is a close contact game that doesn’t follow the norms of social distancing! Imagine that!

We are limping back to normalcy with the pandemic threat persisting. Masks, sanitizers, and frequent hand washing has become imbibed into our daily routine. Schools have reopened and the kids are back to school!! Yippee! I’m like all my fellow moms- ecstatic!! We neatly make our children wear their masks, label the extra mask, and put it into their bag. Each is doing her part perfectly- desperate that the child should reach school safely and be away! For a couple of hours at least!!!

So also, our social lives are getting back to normal. The gleam and excitement in our eyes are unbelievable as we greet friends and family. We hug tightly as we meet people in person after years… literally speaking. There’s so much to catch up on, so much to share, and more to recall. I had never imagined that I’d see tears streaming down the eyes of friends who used to be inseparable. The pandemic forced them apart and their reunion is worth a watch. Delighted grandparents need to reconnect with their grandkids who’ve suddenly Grown Up within these years.  

Despite COVID19, the world moved on. We worked from home, attended online school and tutorials. Virtual seminars, Zoom Kitty Parties, Online Satsangs, and Funeral Prayer Meets became the norm. Young and old…. Everyone was connected. Yet, a strange void lingered. The twinkle in the eye tells you that my smile is genuine. The warmth of the handshake reveals the intent.  Without the contact and proximity, it was tough to judge character. 

The OTT platform brought entertainment at our fingertips and no one complained. However, as we return to multiplex cinemas we realize that this is where the magic of the movies lives. Passing the popcorn carton we look at each other. Yes, we’ve missed this!

Our future is bright. We know we have the technology to overcome any challenge that might befall. Artificial Intelligence, Robots, Space Tourism, and Flying Cars. All that was once Science Fiction is now a reality. The generations will flourish, virus and all. The one thing that we need most of all without which it all seems worthless- Is the very basic -The Human Touch. 

 

STEP INTO AN UNKNOWN WORLD

 About ten years ago, my husband and I were fighting infertility. Desperately trying numerous invasive, painful and exorbitant methods to achieve parenthood. 

I wish we had rather consulted a Fortune Teller. Someone who would have looked into a crystal ball and shown us our future- 10 years from then. 

Alas, I did nothing of that sort. Trashing medics I embraced motherhood with a miracle conception, unaware of what lay ahead- The year 2020 and counting….

         The Coronavirus pandemic has taken our world by storm. Lockdowns have come and gone, but for me, the Lockdown continues… We must keep ourselves locked in with our kids who are still confined mostly within the walls of the home or any space that “we” inhabit. As an Indian mother of two, I am still scared of the virus. I cannot send my kids anywhere unattended and without a chaperone. It is the second academic year wherein the kids attend school from home… and God bless me that I haven’t murdered one of them yet!!

         My sense of being and perception has altered. I can hardly identify with this current scenario. Childhood memories of the school to me are those of a sense of belonging. I loved my school premises, our uniform, badge, and my school culture. I still remember the way my favourite teacher Mrs, Baijal smiled and ruffled our heads. Today, all of that is lost. My kid could be in any school- it does not matter too much in an online platform. The teacher appears on Zoom and is a mere face and a voice. Albeit, a pleasant one with an incredibly polite voice. Every child’s comment/answer is met with a “Super” or an “Awesome", response by the teacher. If they are so awesome, do they need to learn??? No one is rude or admonishing to our children anymore. The teachers are on their best behavior as parents can hear every word. As a result, we have a new breed of Brats.

         These Brats loudly interrupt the ongoing class and say “Ma’am” it’s time up!” They chat online - writing notes to each other, while the class is on. Even better, after attendance the video is conveniently switched off and the child is off to do ‘the big job”. “It’s okay, Ma, chill. I’ll just watch the class video recording!” They tell me as I look aghast! 

Google provides answers and lifesaving advice on everything – while parents and teachers are merely around as providers of food, clothes, and certificates, I guess.

         I know that this phase too will pass and eventually schools will reopen. I am just unhappy as my young kids have lost their childhood and innocence in these 2 years. They are always around us- their parents and have thus, infiltrated our world. There is no demarcation between the Adult’s and a Child’s world anymore. They know when the parents are busy, how they work, what goes on in their minds and can read them. 

I find myself ill-equipped to deal with these “mini-adults”. They have email accounts, computer proficiency, can download programs, and also hack passwords!! They have developed a lack of respect for authority and demand an explanation for every instruction. “Why must I brush my teeth every night?”

If I had asked my mom this a tight rap would have just been the answer. Not anymore… Of course, they get raps, but that too must be justified. “Why did u slap me?” Phew!

         The Value System that we grew up with- Honesty, Hard work, and Perfection don't hold anymore. Information is available at the tip of our fingers. Just swipe you have it. Hard work is overrated. The bare minimum of effort seems to be enough. What are the skill sets that I must provide my kids to equip them for the future? They are not focused. The options they have are innumerable. A strange fear overcomes me as I think about it. The world that this generation is going to step into is unknown. 

Young kids are successful entrepreneurs today. They have stock portfolios and are coding experts. What would these kids aspire to grow up to be? Will they completely fizzle off by the time they reach 35? 

         Confidence and self-worth need to be the basis of this generation. With Super achievers and billionaires all around, only the mentally strong will survive. Guess I shall love my kids unconditionally, hoping that they will be strong at heart and mind as they Step into this Unknown World.

 

Women and the Pandemic War

 

           It is 18 months since the deadly, highly contagious killer–“Corona Virus” wrecked our world. We are at a war to survive. The weapons we have are a few- Soap. Sanitizers and Masks. It’s hilarious you would say. How can you fight a battle with these? I’d rather not get technical- we know the rules. Each individual on this planet is fighting this war. Apart from some lucky ones currently taking dips in the holy Ganges at the Kumbh Mela, Rajasthan. I do so envy those idiots! 

 

 Like in any other war that has been fought over the centuries: here too women and children are the worst affected. Kids have been confined within their homes and apartment blocks with little or no physical school. Enjoying themselves with a complete or almost 50% abandonment of studies. Online classes are a casualty of this pandemic. The teacher appears on the computer screen – kids give attendance and then boom! Either the video disappears or the child runs to the bathroom to do the big job! For underprivileged children, Covid 19 has very sadly taken them away from education and forced them towards child labor. 

 

Women all over the world are the toughest warriors of this battle. Working Women who usually struggle to manage work and family are now being grilled! We have ‘Work from Home’- the answer to all our misery. Do the housework, do the office work, help the kids with homework, help the husband with his work- all from Home. The entire day the woman is at “Work”- from Home. 

 

“Stay Home Stay Safe” has elevated the status of The Homemaker woman to new heights. She is the one who makes your home the haven that it’s become. The poor lady would wind up all her work and get a few hours to herself while the husband was away and kids at school. Now she must organize the home space in such a way that the husband must not be disturbed- “he’s busy”. The kids cannot be disturbed- the teacher can see it all. So she must cook before the office starts. The cooker whistle cannot screech as the boss can hear it! She must feed the kids at super speed in between class breaks as the rule is- “no munching before the computer screen.” 

 

Apart from these, we women have taken up challenging new roles like- 

“The Heater”- She provides hot water and kadha to family members at regular intervals during the day to ensure the virus stays away,  

“The Nurse”- She wears a mask and keeps the affected family member in isolation. She must ensure his/her food is provided to them in their room, the laundry washed separately and their surroundings disinfected. 

“The Teacher”- She helps her children follow what the remote teacher is saying in the online class and makes them complete and submit school activities online.

“The Counsellor”- She helps family, friends, and colleagues cope with depression, loss of social contact, and other emotional outcomes of the pandemic.

The Hairdresser- Salons being the first things to close women quickly mastered the art of cutting hair for their husbands and kids.

 

These are just a few of the innumerable ways by which women are fighting this battle.

 

             In all this, the demands on a Woman’s physical, mental, and emotional being have been huge. Many women are caught in this unending cycle of giving. The amount that women are giving to the world today is far more than can be accounted for. Psychologically too, we are spent. 

 

            In so many families infected with this deadly virus, it is the women who have had the most severe symptoms. Numerous cases where women have been hospitalized for weeks as the virus wrecked their organs. Why? Because she was so busy giving vitamins and hot water to her family that she didn’t realize when her glass turned cold. Exhausted at night, she would forget to inhale steam herself after giving all her family their daily inhaling sessions. To those who’ve abused their women for generations- Wake Up! She is the backbone of your world. Help her while she helps you. To the young, I say hold your mom/grandmom and make her sit down for her meal. Remind her to take her vitamins. Let her shout out her frustration. Just listen to her. She is the warrior who can win this war. Women can help each other by sharing their experiences- trust me it works wonders to just know that you are not alone. 

 

Mankind must win this battle and it cannot do it without acknowledging the other half -Womankind. A new word? Perhaps, but it’s time has come.

 

Let Meee Go

 

LET MEEE GO

 

           Last week I heard a lady shouting at her domestic help. It was disturbing. Not that this is a rare occurrence and one that I’m far removed from. I shout at my help frequently.

It was, however the content of what the rich lady had to belt out to the poor one that unnerved me. “How dare you not return my calls? I’m paying you better than her- Leave that job and work only for ME!” 

I thought slavery was abolished a few centuries ago. 

 

          Maybe it’s just karma, but I heard a similar refrain within a couple of days. This time among friends. “Who do you think you’re talking to? My family is the most respected in town. If I say something notorious about you, You would not be able to step out of your home” 

Again I couldn’t sleep. What is this “I, “ME” “MINE” that there’s so much arrogance about? Common people around me possess such a false sense of importance and self-worth. 

 

            The ego kills our relationships not just at the class levels but also among equals. The thought, “I am superior to him” makes one look down upon others. It’s prevalent all around. Men think they are superior to women. Parents constantly feel superior to their children. Parenting is always about kids listening to their parents and never vice versa. If you accept your child as your teacher- there is a world of knowledge you’d discover! Just let the ego go.

 

            On a particular day, I happened to share the elevator with a man who cleans cars in our apartment. He smiled an astonished smile, and exclaimed as to how I’d managed to shed soo much weight! The comment left me furious! “How could this man talk like that to me?” I might have killed him with my bare hands had he not stepped out at the next level. The same remark, had it come from a friend or a neighbor would have been a “compliment”. Is this not egoistic? 

 

             Our world is built by the Human ego. The ego clash between the Kauravas and Pandavas brought about the battle of Kurukshetra in the Mahabharata. 

Rameses’ ego was hurt by Moses and he refused to free His people. Centuries of warfare and bloodshed could have been avoided had Men kept their false sense of importance aside.

 

 “Women must never ruffle their husbands’ ego to ensure a successful marriage”- Says a celebrity Godman. I heartily agree. The EGO will not either let HER go or HE Goes. It only believes in ME go.

Shrug it off, take a lesson and let it go. 

 

PARTNERS IN CRIME

 

PARTNERS IN CRIME

 

One fine sunny afternoon I am startled by these words. “Mom, have you gone Coo-coo Bananas?” asks the snob. Is that an obscenity? Almost fell off my chair! Within a few days, I get plain used to it. Each time I would ask my children to finish the vegetables I could hear it. The time I screamed at the sight of the neighbour’s puppy-“I’d again gone coo-coo bananas!” Google it- Coo-coo Bananas means to have lost your mind- gone barmy. I surely have! 

 

Of all the roles thrust upon me- Parenting is by far the most challenging and ridiculously instructional. Each day I learn something new. Maybe a phrase, a concept, or perhaps a new way of looking at things. My perspectives are being altered by my little, but not so innocent kids. 

 

One day we are out on a shopping trip. At a shoe store, I try on a pair and strut around for approval from the family. 

“Just say it’s awesome! Then we can go fast to buy our toys” whispers the younger one to her brother. Devil’s Advocate- Is she a part of ME? 

 Once, while watching emotional movie tears roll down my eyes. My elder one doesn’t wince. “Mom’s just missing Grandma,” he coolly explains to calm his sister. Really, “Mr. Know It All”? 

 

Our daughter- The youngest Harry Potter Fan I’ve known throws stunning spells at me- “Wingardium Leviosa”! I duck! Already elevated to a new level, aren’t I?

 

 

It’s been a busy week. I’m struggling to meet a deadline and my kids know it. You’d expect them to be on their best behaviour. However, it’s just the opposite. Engrossed in work, I hardly look up when they come home for dinner after playtime. The rule is – No television or tabs during meal times. 

A loud scream erupts from the kids’ room. Then another petrifying shriek. I rush. There is a fistfight going on that progresses into kicks and hair snatching. “Please stop it you two” Get away from each other. I’ll put on the Television while you can have the Tab too!” 

 

The screaming stops. 

 

As I leave, from the corner of my eye I catch the ‘hi-five’ they exchange. Caught in their snare, I just can’t escape my Partners in Crime.

 

BYE BYE 2020- YOU’RE HISTORY

Lazily, I recall the brilliant fireworks on display last night and sigh! It is January 1^st 2021- beginning of another year….

“HAPPY NEW YEAR, ma. Has the Corona Virus gone?” asks my little one lying beside me. Again I sigh- there seems to be nothing new to my routine of answering these pesky persistent questions. Ha! New Year indeed!

 

2020- The year that went by is being condemned around the world. Good riddance, hateful year, the worst year ever! The anti-adjectives are endless. However, I want to say a heartfelt “Thank You” to the retreating year. I’ve learnt so much this year for which, I'm grateful.

 

Surprised? I don’t think so- There are many like me. WE want to say thank you to 2020- the year of the pandemic. It taught us that We Can Survive!

60 days without any domestic help- I survived. Working 18 hours each day to keep the family fed, the house cleaned and the surfaces sanitized- I SURVIVED!

Running a school, a restaurant and an office- all from home was something I never thought was possible. But, we DID it.

 

“Prioritize your health” was the mantra grilled into us by 2020. Everything else- paid work, socializing, commuting etc., all took a backseat. I learnt innumerable ways to boost immunity from innumerable sources. Some are really effective! Eating hot, freshly cooked meals and drinking potfuls of warm liquids became the trend! Even my lazy 8 year old brat learnt pranayama to protect himself from the virus! That’s an achievement, I’d say!

Along came Online School… I definitely learnt more than my kids did! We were pleasantly surprised to find out that my son is a computer genius! Fantastic 2020, right?

Friends who mattered stayed in touch while the others were too busy to call and connect on Zoom/Duo. The world and I discovered true meaningful relationships.

I applaud my friends and family who provided care to loved ones afflicted with the virus. They worked tirelessly to isolate the sick and help them recover. From them I learnt- Selfless Love.

 

We grieved for those who lost the battle to the virus. Praying incessantly for not just myself but the world; I learnt.

A historic year it’s been. Unimaginable, but not to be forgotten soon. Lucky to have witnessed this phenomena and the way the world emerged from it. Thanks 2020 you’ve made us too – A part of History!